i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
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