Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
