Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
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