How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
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