so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
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The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
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Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
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