He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Randomize
