i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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