I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
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