Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
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