Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
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