stop calling my apartment porn island.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
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