remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
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