so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
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