no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
