He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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