is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
