What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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