Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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