Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize