I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
