I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Randomize
