Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
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