Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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