Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
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