Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
