they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
