Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
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