yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
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