so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
