The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
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i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.