Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
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