life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
