i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
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