dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
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