The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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