I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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