Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize