I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
