You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize
