Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
I just googled if crying burns calories
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
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