It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
