D3 body, D1 cock
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
We are all done wearing pants today
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
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