he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
