i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
