You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
