this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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