I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
