The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
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