it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
