Ketchup is God's man juice
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
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