peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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