when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
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