sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Randomize
