You can't motorboat a personality
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
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