Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Randomize
